Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Star Tribune bought. Layoffs to come?

Oh gods. First the news that Anders Gyllenhall leaves the Strib - and now they're sold.

To someone called 'Avista', which is bad, because companies with bullshit made-up-word names are there to screw SOMEONE. (Xcel. Qwest. Enron.)

Let's see what their website says about their media holdings...

"Avista targets companies that have strong, often proprietary, positions...
(...we like buying monopolies)
in attractive niche sectors...
(...that cater to rich people)
of the content-creation, content-packaging and content-distribution segments of the media industry.
(We don't really care about what they do - it's all just product for us
.)
These businesses are characterized by stable cash flows, attractive margins and low capital-expenditure and working-capital requirements.
(OK - we like stuff that makes money, makes good money, and doesn't take much money to set up or run. Hmm... Fond of running a tight ship... is that a layoff I smell?)


Avista prefers media businesses with lower technology risk...
(We aren't too dot-commie...)
and those that offer the opportunity to capitalize on Avista's operating expertise to build more robust revenue growth.
(... and give you the opportunity to make money on our expertise in squeezing the most blood out of every dollar.)
In addition, Avista has particular interest in well-branded companies that can exploit additional and emerging distribution channels and/or improve the geographic reach of their content.
(We're also going to be increasing our brand advertising and our monopoly power and drive out other competition. We won't be buying the Pioneer Press and shutting it down. No sir.)
Avista believes attractive investment opportunities will be found in niche markets and mid-sized companies that are not the focus of most mainstream media investors.
(Thar's money in fanatics and under those little stones.)

WELL! I feel relieved, don't you? They want to make more money on the Strib. If I had it, I'd cut it's size drastically and market to the niche of people who want good media. Since not too long ago, the Strib


And besides this, Bush abdicandum est*.
(*Bush must resign)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

greetings oh bearded one.

gasp, the evil Star Trib is being bought out by someone more evil than McGlatchy?

Holy Shit, I mean Newsprint batman.

nihilix said...

hmmm... time for a shave?

the jury is still out about absolute evil. the ed board has been old-guard liberal, the news department minnesota-conservative. we shall see.